Beliefs Part Deux

Beliefs again

 

Last time I wrote about beliefs and how we form them in our brains and that it is possible to change them. In this article, I will explain why it is so very important. Now, maybe you’re thinking, “What’s wrong with my beliefs? They’re the foundation of my identity.” Yes, I will give you that. Our beliefs are the basis of how we view the world and how we interact with it. We have already established that people cling to beliefs that don’t benefit them because they believe it will be more painful to change old beliefs.

Beliefs start in the brain. They are created from our feelings about an experience. If we experienced pain, we believe we should avoid that experience again to avoid the pain. We believe every time we do that action or have that experience again, we will have the same pain, but what if we could have a different experience? The question becomes, how can we have a different experience?

 

Say I want to lose weight, but every time I tried, nothing happened. I tried logging what I eat for three months and in doing so kept track of the calories I consumed. Even though I did it faithfully for three months and I stayed under my calorie count and I exercised; I still never lost a pound. You’d think I’d have some success. This has created a belief in me that whatever I try, it doesn’t work. Why try? This belief, unfortunately, cuts me off from my good and my success. They say that Thomas Edison “failed” one thousand times at creating a lightbulb before he finally succeeded, but he would tell you he “found” one thousand ways to not make a lightbulb before he found the way to make one. The same is true about me losing weight.

In my case, I might try looking into other reasons why I can’t. I might check in with my MD to see if there is a biochemical reason why. I might look at my challenges to losing weight, such as do I have a portion control issue; or do I snack more than I should and “forget” to log it. It might be that I have to go back a few steps before I can go forward. In truth, it’s not impossible, just harder to get to my desired goal. I have to deal with the challenges and then get back on track. There is always a reason why we run into stumbling blocks. We simply need to understand them in order to go around them.

In another circumstance, you might have chronic pain. I do not belittle your pain or say that I can take it away. I’m simply saying, have you looked into every avenue in coping with your pain? Chronic pain, whether physical or mental is an albatross we wear around our necks which keeps us from fulling expressing ourselves and experiencing life. Who wants that? Now, I know what you’re thinking, “It’s not just an albatross, it’s an elephant.” It’s too big. It’s my body betraying me. There is absolutely nothing I can do. It’s not our body betraying us, it’s our beliefs.

My dad was a lawyer and sometimes he did personal injury cases. As he worked on the legal aspect of their case, he would note that sometimes people could not find desistence of their pain or real healing. This caused him no end of pain. So, he began keeping a list of physical therapists, massage therapists, chiropractors, acupuncturists, therapists, even hypnotherapists; anyone who might help these people. He would say, “I don’t know if any of these will help, but since the doctors have hit a stone wall in helping you, maybe you’ll find it in one of these practitioners.” He found that not every person found success in the same alternate practitioner. Different people found different successes from different practitioners or different combinations of practitioners.

The interesting thing is that he didn’t just provide a list of practitioners; he provided choices and options when they believed there were none and the permission to open themselves to the possibility of a new belief. This is all I’m saying. If you’ve gone as far as you can with one avenue, try another. What have you got to lose?

Of course, trying new avenues also opens us up to beliefs about ourselves and the world around us. What would my friends and family think if they knew I was going to (fill in the blank) to help me cope with my pain? Are you getting relief? If yes, continue. It’s not about them. It’s about you. If not, discontinue and Try. Something. Else. As long as we know there are options, we have freedom and hope. Plus, we are growing as individuals. We are becoming the person we always dreamed of being.

I’m sorry, that practitioner isn’t covered by insurance? Well we still have a choice. We can decide not to use them and never know if they could have helped or we can ask what kind of a discount we can get if we pay in cash. Then we have to come up with the cash. We think nothing of putting money away for a vacation or retirement or even creating a Go Fund Me for our friend that had a car accident, but do not believe we are worthy of such a consideration. Remember we’re creating options. If I can’t drive and won’t be driving in the next year at least, why do I still have a car? I can always get another one, if that’s what I want. Creating options often requires changing beliefs. Old beliefs that say if I give something up now, I’ll never have it again. Or if insurance doesn’t cover it, I can’t have it. People who go places and get what they want, work on getting rid of old beliefs that don’t support what they want and acquire beliefs that do support them.

Beliefs are foundational to us. They help mold how we perceive ourselves, the world around us, and how we experience it; but they are not carved in granite. They can be malleable. Just because we always believed it doesn’t mean we always have to believe it. We can choose a new life.