The Plan

Few weeks ago, I wrote about dreaming. Without dreaming, we have no direction. Our life has no direction. How can we know if we are a success, if we give ourselves nothing to strive for?

I know.

“I have to feed my family. I don’t have time to dream and don’t even talk to me about finding time to make it happen.”

I know its challenging but remember we live in a community. Historically, societies thrived because of mutual assistance. If you don’t live in a community, find one. We were never meant to live in a bubble. Do you have neighbors, friends, or know other parents who can help you with the kids? Can older children help with household chores? So, ask for help. Be willing to give help because a community is not one directional.

Now, you’ve been dreaming, and you have some things that you’d like to change. Maybe you’d like to lose weight, find another job, or another partner. It really doesn’t matter. The most important thing is you have to realize it’s possible. Remember the paradigm shift? I’ll wait until you’ve read that article….

Ok, now that you’re up to speed, let’s talk about your plan. Remember a plan without a dream is like a ship with a rudder. Well, a dream without a plan is a ship with no sail. You’re not going anywhere.  Maybe you’re one of those folks that says, “One day, I’m going to….” Well, today is the day you embark.

In creating a plan, it’s helpful to be mindful. This means non-judgmental observation. What needs to happen and in what order. A life coach can really help you figure out your priorities and give you ownership while also providing accountability, if that is something you need. For those that are struggling to “find the time”, the plan can help with that. It will be the first part. Once you “find the time” to dream, you’re going to find more in other crooks and crannies. Keep going. You’re also using something you may not have used much in the past, your creative mind. You have to be careful with this. Using the creative mind is nothing to be trifled with. The more you use it, the more you’ll want to. It feels good, it builds confidence, and before you know it, the world will have color again. You’ll start to have original ideas and doing new things may not be so daunting.

Be willing to break your plan into small sections. By this date, I will… Then by the next milestone, I will…. It doesn’t matter how much you break it up. As long as you put it into manageable pieces. That’s all a plan is: a dream put into manageable pieces on a timeline.

For some, accountability is necessary to accomplish the tasks on your plan. It can be a friend, a family member, or a coach. Although it is important to provide accountability, it is also important to lay the ground rules for that accountability. If the person providing your accountability doesn’t understand how to do it in a way to encourage you to complete your tasks, your plan will flounder.

The steps of your plan should be clear and succinct. Vagueness will lead you off your plan and before you know it, it will be weeks since you worked on it. Kind of like taking a boat ride to Hawaii but winding up in Japan. The trip might have been fine, but you didn’t wind up where you wanted to be. Here’s where the mindfulness comes in handy. If you wind up in Japan, do you like it there? Or do you need to get back on track? Making mistakes and failing is not necessarily a terrible thing. We often pile way too much self-esteem onto mistakes. If you learn from them, they were worth it. Take those lessons and keep moving.

Pay attention to obstacles and where they may lead you. Do you want to go there, can you swerve around them, or can they teach you something? Sometimes obstacles come with hidden treasures we never realized were there until we come face to face with the obstacles. The person who has to become a single parent often finds they are much stronger than they ever imagined and what do you know, there are people out there that can help.

Dreaming and planning toward that dream sets you off on a course of self-discovery. You never know what you’ll learn along the way. Plus, it puts you in command of your own destiny and that feels great!