Just Do It-Yeah, right.

5 things to quit right now

1)trying to please everyone

2) Fearing change

3) Putting yourself down

4) Overthinking

I love these. They assume you can just do it. Now some people probably can but don’t you think they’re already doing it? Don’t get me wrong, sometimes all you need is a reminder to get on with it; but for some of us it’s a little bit harder than that. It took me a lifetime to acquire these habits. What makes them think I can just let them go-overnight. In the past, pleasing people got me positive feedback. If I don’t please people, will they still like me? Don’t even get me started on “change”. Do you realize how many times “things changed” and I had to pick up the pieces…again? Not only is it painful, but its exhausting and I’m really not very good at it. What if I mess it up? It can go wrong a thousand different ways….

Familiar? Doesn’t sound very hopeful, does it?

We give up before we even begin.

And yet, can you imagine waking up in the morning and change just doesn’t bother you anymore? Maybe you’re choosing to look at it differently- like a grand experiment. Maybe overthinking could be replaced with trust and planning; while failure isn’t a millstone around the neck but feedback on the experiment. Finally, perhaps we’ll wake up one morning and build ourselves up rather than put ourselves down.

Nice image, hunh? When you think of that image, how does it make you feel? Excited? Scared? Overwhelmed? If you feel scared or overwhelmed, check in with yourself about why. These feelings are there to tell us something. Feelings such as scared and overwhelm are powerful indicators of something deeper. They are not to be shied away from. We must look deeply to see what fosters them. Journaling or talking about them can help them be understood and released. Be courageous enough to identify them and deal with them. These feelings are there to help you. Be patient with yourself. Change, not only in behavior, but also in perceiving, takes time. Remember it took a lifetime to establish these perceptions. Give yourself time to overcome them.

Start with today. Today I will stop trying to please everyone. If you really don’t want to _________, don’t. You can say, “I won’t do that, but I will do this.” This is a powerful step toward taking back control over your life. Taking control over our life values us; and yes, sometimes we need to show ourselves we value ourselves. At the end of the day, check in and see how you did. Were you successful? If yes, bask in that feeling of accomplishment; but realize tomorrow is another day. If you weren’t, why? Remember failure is really feedback on your grand experiment. Examine your obstacles. What could be done to overcome those obstacles? Sometimes feelings can be an obstacle. We don’t want to disappoint people or we’re afraid they won’t like us anymore. These feelings can simply need to be brought to life for us to overcome them or they can be debilitating. If they are the latter, don’t be afraid to find someone who supports you to talk it out with. A therapist can help here. There is always a way to make that change.