Success vs. Unsuccessful

Successful People vs. Unsuccessful People

Lists abound which help keep us on the path to success. I think they need a slight upgrade.

Read every day rather than watch TV every day. While I do agree that we should read every day, I also realize that this isn’t always practical. Nor do I think that we shouldn’t watch TV from morning till night. The same could be said of continuous game play. Obviously, anything to the exclusion to all else is an obstacle to our goals; but an hour of downtime is more beneficial than most realize. Studies have shown that it actually increases productivity. As with most things, keeping a balance keeps us sane and productive. Unfortunately, not everyone finds reading a pleasurable experience. We learn to read to obtain information and gain enjoyment from it. For those who reading is more of a chore, there are hundreds, if not thousands, of audio books on every subject. Listening to music can be just as rejuvenating and relaxing as watching the next episode of the latest program. Figure out what you want to accomplish in this hour and do it. If you allow the hour to stretch to two or even three, you allow things to get away from you and it becomes an obstacle.

Compliment others rather than criticize. This goes in the same category as do unto others as you would have them do unto you. If you wouldn’t want it done to you, don’t do it to others. Criticisms come in two flavors: one, constructive and two, abusive. Constructive criticism is meant in the sincerest intention to assist the other in being better. Abusive is exactly as it sounds. It’s meant to hurt the other. It’s done to make yourself feel better by making the other feel worse. It helps neither. In either case, it is considered inappropriate to give criticism without permission.  Compliments, on the other hand, are most productive if they are heartfelt and honest. Its always best to build others up as they might be the person in the position to give you a hand up the next time you need one.

Embrace change rather than fear change. Heraclitus, a Greek philosopher, has been quoted as saying that the only constant is change. We have two choices: we can embrace it or fear it. Embracing is much more empowering than fear and avoidance. Remember, courage is acting despite the fear. Ascertain your resources, make a plan, get help as needed. Learn from it.

Forgive rather than hold a grudge. Holding on to old hurts weighs us down. Some even say that it winds up in our cells causing illness and pain. Who wants to live like that? Forgiveness can be the first step to releasing the emotion that can keep us from our goals. Forgiveness doesn’t mean we go back to the way it was. It means working through the emotions, so they don’t have an effect on us.

Talk about ideas rather than talk about others. Talking about others, especially in a negative way is no better than criticizing them. Never believe it won’t ever get back to them. Words can be a knife that floats back to the person and do irreparable harm. Ideas, conversely, are not people. Discussing them can bring greater understanding, especially if we do it with an open mind. You might learn something.

Continuously learn rather than think you know it all. People who think they know it all can’t learn and if they can’t learn, will never overcome obstacles. Plus, Know It Alls are just plain annoying. They aren’t open to new ideas and consequently, don’t learn.

Accept responsibility for failure rather than blame others and outside circumstance for failures. Failure happens. If we treat it like a growing/learning experience, we will always make progress toward our goals. So often we wrap failure up with self-worth and embarrassment that we fail to see the lesson. When we accept responsibility, we learn, and we move on. Rather than a deep hole in the sidewalk which can be fallen into; it’s a small bump that can be worked around.

Have a sense of gratitude rather than a sense of entitlement. Entitlement is an illusion. We are entitled to nothing. Anyone who has ever achieved anything of substance had to work for it. You don’t wake up in the morning and have your goals achieved. Besides, would that have been as fulfilling? Working for them is part of the process. Learning along the way makes us the kind of people we want to become. In the same way we were proud of standing the first time, completing that difficult project, or behaving the way we hoped to in a difficult circumstance leads us to appreciate those challenges all the more. It makes us appreciate ourselves. Gratitude, on the other hand, helps us get through our lives with a positive outlook.

Set goals and develop life plans rather than never set goals. Goals will never be achieved if all we do is get up, do what we’ve always done, then go to bed. Setting goals, no matter how minor, allow us to progress in the direction we’ve always wanted.

Success is measured in small steps as well milestones.