Proactivity and Reactivity

In his book, The 7 habits of Highly Effective People by Stephan Covey, he describes the difference between proactivity and reactivity. In reactivity, we allow conditions to control us. So, if I get up, burn my breakfast, the hot water heater gives out and I get a cold shower, and the children dawdle to get out the door; what kind of mood will I have throughout the day?

On the other hand, if I take a deep breath and consciously look for the good or maybe give myself a small treat or break to re-center or start over. You can always start over. Proactivity, Covey explains, means that, as humans, we are responsible for our own lives. He says that highly proactive people recognize this responsibility. They don’t blame their environment, circumstance, conditions, or conditioning. In many ways our behavior is a function of our decisions not our conditions. This doesn’t mean I’m not going to have sucky days. It means I don’t have to let it affect my behavior. When we claim responsibility for our lives, we gain choice and power.

Unfortunately, we also lose excuses. We can no longer excuse poor behavior or attitude on our circumstance. By claiming responsibility for our decisions, behavior, and moods; we run out of excuses. The buck literally stops here. We also can’t blame other people for our poor behavior because in the end we are at choice. We can choose the positive or the negative. Now that doesn’t mean it’s easy. That’s what apologies are for.

I highly suggest his book, if you haven’t read it.

The 7 habits of Highly Effective People:Powerful Lessons in Personal Change